I’m Starting a Band!

It is your typical Sunday night in Los Angeles, and I just finished watching Kubrick’s The Shining, which somehow inspired me to write you. I was wondering if everybody says that The Shining is a masterpiece because they mean it or out of pressure… I secretly think it gets kind of boring from time to time, but I keep it to myself because I tried to say what I really thought in public out loud a couple of times and I thought I was going to get stoned, and I don’t do drugs, if you know what I mean. To balance things out, I am watching Gladiator now and they are beating the shit out of each other — and that’s what I call a movie!

Anyway, before I go on narrating some of the latest LA events, I would like to address a Page Six posting about my wife and I, ducking out of a PAPER event hosted by Lindsey Lohan at the Sunset Marquis, because they were not serving booze. I would like to say that that is ABSOLUTELY TRUE. And I would also like to say that when I was saying my goodbyes to my beloved PAPER editors and crew, I read despair and thirst in their eyes as well. You know she’s sober now, so none else can drink either. I only hope they won’t stop serving booze at Villa or Teddy’s when she goes, otherwise it would be dry night every night.

Moving on.

A week ago I went to the premiere of Bra Boys, a documentary based on the lives of the members of the surf tribe of Marouba Beach in Australia. Besides the fact that the documentary is fantastic, the party at the Directors Guild of America was a lot of fun and the after-party at Hyde was even more fun. The three brothers the documentary focuses on were there, and I met them, and truthfully, I need to say that they are some cool mates.

Some two weeks or so before that, I went to a Prada party at the store in Beverly HillsNadine Johnsonorganized it and… in my modest opinion… New Yorkers just do it better. It was one of the few parties in Los Angeles were nobody wore faded jeans, and it was so refreshing. L.A. and faded jeans, people: two peas in a pod. But that’s a whole other blog.

So are you guys noticing I am using paragraphs? That’s because I care about your comments and opinions! And now don’t hold this against me and don’t comment “kill yourself” or “my opinion is that you should die a painful death,” because that is not nice.

And now some personal news: I am starting a band!

Yes, you heard it here first! I still have to name it but the members are me, of course, and… well, whoever flows in and out of my lair at any given time of the night. It is true people, I bought Play Station 3 Rock Bandand I just can’t get enough of it! I still have some problems with drums and guitar but I karaoke like a nightingale and I think I am onto something of good quality here, ladies and gentlemen.

What else can I share after this oh so important news that makes everything pale in comparison?

I have been hanging with some of my fellow ranch hands, especially Brittny GastineauShanna Ferigno,Courtney Semel and via teleconference George Foreman, who lives in Texas. Yes, I am aware there were others, but believe me they are not important. I just wanted to let you guys, and, most importantly girls know that Brittny and her mom, Lisa, just started a jewelry line called Tres Glam. Very cool stuff designed from very cool girls. Trust me, you won’t be sorry if you check it out.

Alrightalrightalright, that’s it for now… Stay classy, people! And beware of faded jeans!

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